I was coaching a woman in her mid-30’s who told a white lie early on in her last “situationship” and got caught. Since then, an underlying theme in that relationship became that she was untrustworthy; at least in his mind. Once that relationship was completed, she carried that DRD (dating related disease) with her.
We sometimes allow the past to be the pesky condition that restrains us from living unafraid. All that really happened was he said she was untrustworthy. It really didn’t mean anything, but here is what she took it as. “I can’t be trusted.” Somehow that was the self-talk she had about what he said and she decided to take it as truth.
The truth is yes, she was caught in a lie. When asked what was the biggest lesson she got from dating that guy was her reply was to never lie again even if it hurts the person. My question to her was “Do you think your future husband will appreciate a woman that tells the truth all the time?” Of course her answer was “Yes”. So you see that is a totally different meaning to give that event.
I continued to share with her and challenged her that instead of saying you are un-trustworthy, how about you say I am now even more prepared for the husband I desire because I will attract a great man by being a great woman. She immediately understood. What seems like a worthless pain is often an awesome gift. Dwell on the lesson. Not the Failure.