“THE ASSIST” SHOULD WOMEN APPROACH MEN?


1150787_10153157615375515_2089574099_n Miyokee Lovell is a woman of dynamic talents (model, actor, singer, dancer, make-up artist, visionary, writer and business woman.) She is a Masters Degree Candidate of Public Administration at Seton Hall University and serves as the Program Director for the Global Leadership and Career Mentorship Development Program.

Miyokee is in the process of launching her own initiative entitled, Know Your Worth (https://www.facebook.com/MsKnowYourWorth). The goal of Know Your Worth, is to be able to reach and teach young women their own individual valued worth in living through their pain to discover their purpose in life. Connect with her on Instagram: @msknowyourworth and Twitter: @MsKnowYourWorth

 

 Miyokee

Instinct to Destiny: Assisting During the Play

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to my boy Treo and he instructed me to write out exactly what I was looking for in a mate. I never really considered that if I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for, then I would never find the right mate for me. No destination driving is what I’d like to call it. 😉

So here’s what I did when faced with the challenge. I began to really THINK about what it was that I wanted in a mate and literally the next day I met someone ‘new’! Now I know some may think okay, it’s just coincidence that you start writing this list and then out of nowhere comes this ‘man of your dreams’ but that isn’t the most important part of this story. The BEST part about how I met him was the part I played in assisting during the play!

Long story short – I was on my way home after doing make-up at NY Fashion Week. Now, I don’t usually travel to the city but when I do I tend to take public transportation because it’s cheaper. This day, I was waiting on the bus and as I stood there I noticed him watching me. We so happened to get on the same bus and I noticed the only open seats were all the way in the back where he was seated. I sat down IN FRONT of him initially but there was this inkling that spoke to me and it said, “Get up and sit NEXT TO him”, so I did. As I sat there he jokingly asked, “So, you moved your seat because you wanted to sit next to me?”  I honestly replied, “Yes.” LOL

He was completely thrown off by my answer but that was all it took for conversation to spark and numbers to be exchanged.

The best part of this experience for me was not that I met a guy who I see as simply amazing but the fact that I was confident enough in myself to ‘assist in his play’. I allowed him the opportunity to approach me without being the approached. There was no expectation. Whether he spoke to me or not was not my concern. If he spoke then cool, if he didn’t then COOL. I had done my part with the assist; it was up to him to follow through (and that he did).

P.S. – We’ve since began dating and I’m LOVING every moment of it. 😉

 

 TREO

We all have a story, or blueprint on what love SHOULD BE. I always tell women if you believe deep in your heart that you shouldn’t have to approach a man, then don’t. If you go against the blueprint or deep belief you have had probably most of your life, you may win the guy but end up with resentment towards him because you had to find him. And of course that goes against the story you believe. Women also have to understand that some men are scared out of their mind to approach you. I know traditionally we are supposed to wrestle lions and hunt bears, but the fear of rejection is sometimes worse than death. I love how you were able to make it a little easier for this particular guy. I’m sure if you ask him he will say that he made the first move but the reality is you did. In fact most women make the first move often; with a brief smile, blush, playing with their hair…etc. Here is one question I must ask. If he didn’t respond to you when you sat next to him, how would you have felt?

 

 Miyokee

If he hadn’t responded to me when I sat next to him it wouldn’t have shifted my mood at all. I gave him the opportunity, but he didn’t respond, I would have ‘admired his beauty’ (bwahaha) from where I was and that would have been the end of the story. I would have moved on with life. It wouldn’t have affected me at all. The fact that I was confident enough to TAKE THE RISK exemplified my growth as a woman. I wouldn’t have felt rejection because I didn’t actually approach him. My only thought was in ‘ceasing the opportunity’. I had nothing to lose by listening to the voice that said “sit next to him.” I had everything to gain.

 TREO

I’m so happy you said that. Far too often we allow someone’s response dictate who we are. I’m so proud of you and I wish you all the best. Two big lessons are to stay true to yourself and follow your gut. Also focus on what you want and be ready to receive it as if it is on its way. You can change your life, your blueprint or both to find true happiness.

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