“Uplifting, Empowering, & Encouraging others to reach their full potential.” This is Jamie Owens’ mission. Jamie is a speaker, motivator, encourager, blogger, and an aspiring life coach. She doesn’t purport to know it all; however she is striving to fulfill her purpose which is to help affirm others of their worth; that they are good enough and to help them reach their full potential. You can visit her blog at www.sincerelyjamie.blog.com
Love; a word we often misuse. A word we often throw around carelessly. Love; something we all deeply desire. Where do I stand in regards to love? At this present moment, I am stagnant. I desire to have a healthy, loving relationship. A relationship where I know without a doubt in my mind that the person I’m with loves me sincerely and genuinely. I desire a love where I will not have to question my significant others intentions with me because his actions and words demonstrate it flawlessly. Again, I’m stagnant. Why? I believe in order to love; we must allow ourselves to become vulnerable. And vulnerable is something me and I’m sure many other women are tired of becoming. Many view vulnerability as weakness. Vulnerability often means opening yourself up to be disappointed and hurt. Often times I don’t want to be vulnerable because I don’t want to be out of control or hurt. No one wants to be “out there” alone. Too often this love thing has been one sided for me. Too often have previous beaus realized what they had after the door was shut in their face. Therefore, I’m stagnant. I’m not moving or progressing in love because I’m afraid to give my 100% to someone who will not reciprocate the same. Where am I in regard to love? I’m abandoned. I feel as if love (in the sense of a romantic relationship) has by passed me. I’ve had my share of relationships and flings, but often I wonder, “Did I miss my ship already?” I often wonder, “Has love really bypassed me? Am I just being difficult? Am I so caught up on being disappointed and hurt, that I have not realized being vulnerable is the door to love?” After all this, I’m still left with the thought, “If I don’t allow myself to be vulnerable, I may not ever be in love.” Hmm….where do I stand in regards to love.
A woman who desires love…. (Jamie Owens)
Jamie I am such a fan of your honesty. You are so correct in saying that the word love is misused. I would go one step further and say it is severely misused. I am truly grateful that I now have the type of love you are looking for. I don’t have to question my wife’s intentions and I have made it my duty to demonstrate my love. Love should be more of an action but the challenge is most people have no idea what actions to take. One of those actions is learning to embrace your past and use it as a tool instead of being used by it. I remember being engaged years ago and having to endure the pain and embarrassment of canceling a wedding two months before the day. I was so angry with my life and I remember feeling stagnant. I remember my father saying to me “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, there is absolutely no reason to stress over it.” When I heard him say that, I knew I could change myself and how I approached my challenges; so that is what I did. Of course it didn’t happen overnight, but I made it my duty to become the best me possible. Now that I work with so many women, I now understand the pain most of you go through as far as being comfortable to open up. In the process of winning, we can’t be afraid to fail. Failure has to be in the picture. Would it be possible to win if we couldn’t fail? I will end quoting Jim Rohn who paints the perfect analogy of why it is important to conquer the challenges and pain so you can truly appreciate victory: “Let’s say you put a football under your arm and we followed you out to the nearest football stadium and you walk across the goal line. Would we cheer and call it a touchdown? The answer is no. It’s not a touchdown, Chris, until you’ve faced the 300-pounders who want to smash your face in the turf, and if you can muscle by them and dance by the secondary and cross the goal line with the football under your arm, now we all cheer, call it a touchdown and maybe you won the championship.” So embrace you pain it will be part of why you will score so big.
Being able to embrace the pain of past relationships is necessary. Often times many of us don’t take the time to truly heal from previous situations. However, there will always be that lingering feeling or thought “I hope that he’s not like the last one”. True enough, we shouldn’t compare and contrast people, but it happens. I agree that we should use our past as a tool, but often times we don’t do that. I am willing to do it because I long to share my life with someone; the imperfect perfect someone. I am working on my vulnerability, because I’m all about self-improvement. As a result, I’ve noticed that I tend to become more vulnerable when I really like a guy, as opposed to when he is really into me. Now, I don’t understand that. LOL. Anyway, I agree love is an action word. Love is a choice we make. I read a quote from Maryanne Commorato, she says “the start of a great relationship begins within”. Therefore, in order to have the love I want, I must continue to work on myself. I won’t be completely “together” when I meet that special someone, but that is why I often say I want someone I can grow with and someone who’s willing to improve themselves as well. Finally, I want someone I can tag team life with.
Jamie I can confirm that a great relationship starts within. I am excited for you because I was once where you are and I know what can happen next. Finding is always reserved for the people who are searching and honestly, you are not as stagnant as you think. The fact that you are working on yourself means you are moving at light speed toward your ideal mate.