Ignoring The Signs With Author Terri Johnson


Headshot - Black shirt PCD“You never know what you will be doing before the day is over!” is a statement Terri Johnson lives by.  Terri is the author of the Daily seed which offers encouragement and motivation for individuals during the different seasons of life.  She offers humorous and sound wisdom in hopes of sowing a seed that will bring forth a harvest that will change lives. You can find more info about the Daily seed @ www.dailyseed.com.

 

 

Ignoring the signs

Leave! “He didn’t mean it!”

She is not the one for you. “Well she said it was just that one time.”

Stop. “They normally don’t act that way with me.”

These are the conflicting conversations that have occurred inside of us at one time or another as we rationalize why we put up with someone else’s negative behavior. However, when the relationship and/or our interaction with that person finally end, we look back and think, “why didn’t I see that” or “how could I have not known they were like that all along.” The reason we allow ourselves to stay longer than we should and put up with way more than is ok is because we ignore our gut.

Our gut is the INITIAL inner voice you hear when you experience someone else’s behavior or actions. However, another voice (different from our gut) shows up and says, “Its ok, they didn’t mean it” or “it could just be me overreacting”. For example, after a night out with my friends, a gentleman approached me and wanted to become better acquainted. He asked if I would take his number. The first thing I heard and felt was “RUN”, but I took his number anyway, (He was cute…don’t judge me…lol). Long story short, I ignored my gut and went out with him. As a result, He was not too quick to get the “Hey, I’m not interested hint. “(Thank God for stalker laws)

Many times we ignore our gut because of what we feel and because we don’t want to give up what we visually see. However, I have not met one person yet (please let me know if you have) that has ignored their gut and it turned out for their good. The moral of the story is, God gave us intuition for a reason. It is to alert us of the things we can’t see (red flags). When we ignore our intuition, it is then that we end up in relationships that do not offer us the best we deserve. I have learned to listen, heed to and not be afraid to follow my intuition. I’ve learned that my gut is my safety. Be encouraged and keep moving forward!

Enjoy the day!

-Terri

Treo

       Terri this was an amazing piece of work. I know many women can relate but as a man, I can say we ignore signs often as well. Sometimes I think we are in love with the idea of what we want that we ignore all of the things we don’t want. In some cases we may not even be ignoring it. We may actually be blind to it because all we see are the things that support what we want to be true. It’s not entirely our fault.

The desire to find romantic love is in our human biology. This means that it can’t be cultural like religion. Part of our challenge is we were born with this love program already installed into our hardware. One of the things I teach during my workshops is to know when to separate emotions and logic and knowing when they belong together. Since our innate nature is to make love work, we almost have to step back from that natural instinct when dating just so we can make sure the person actually makes sense for us.

Remember this phrase “too many people make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.” So if you are going to make a long term decision about your life and who you will spend it with, shouldn’t it be based on something more than how you feel right now? If we don’t do this, we will always find our most powerful tool in love (our brain) filling in all the gaps. Leaving those gaps open and being able to identify that there are gaps is crucial in helping to discover exactly who we are dating. Thank you for sharing Terri.

Comments & Responses

4 Responses so far.

  1. ebony says:

    I agree with everything that was said from a women/men approach..if we all would just listen to our guts we wouldn’t have as much heartache and anger in relationships.

  2. Yasmine Young says:

    What a great article! The truth!! (LOL) I agree with you both. I find myself “wanting to make love work” all the time and I do tend to ignore the signs of love not working or settling because I feel like maybe, just maybe if I give it some more time, he’ll change his ways. Or he’ll want to get married, eventually. Often times, I struggle with knowing what my gut is saying to me. I know what I want; I know what I deserve, but then I don’t want to nag at my mate about the obvious either.

  3. Antonia says:

    Unfortunately, I’ve spent to much time ignoring my gut and ending up in painful situations, instead of being the woman who was secure enough to walk away. Don’t get me wrong, I am a very secure woman, but when it comes to relationships there has always been the thought of, ‘If I let him go, will another man come along? How long is that really going to take?’ It was that insecurity that often made me ignore my gut and stick around marking time before it all would fall apart while hoping that there would at least be a few good days before the big boom that would end it. Praise God those days have come to an end (I think, LOL).

    Most women know the power of intuition because it’s a part of the motherly instinct DNA that we have. However, most of us have trouble exercising that instinct in relationships either because we have been vocal about it before and as a result have been made to feel like we are crazy (although the truth comes out later just as we predicted), or because we are too afraid to be alone. It’s the urge to feel like someone wants to “claim you” as their significant other, or the feelings you get from receiving attention and love (although it’s not love at all) that makes you want to ignore the bad and hope and pray that this time you are just overreacting. After all, who wants to be alone?

    Terribly this seems to have become and epidemic that has been passed down through many generations for women especially. Some women just want to break the family curse and finally be the one to bring a man into the family, rather than being another one who is all alone. Its sad, but true.

    At the end of the day, I believe its important that we all evaluate our feelings, and emotions concerning each person in our lives. How do you feel once you’ve been in the presence of this person (especially your significant other). Its imperative to be real with yourself here. If you can’t truthfully say that you feel more motivated, loved, and at peace than I say it might be time for that person to hit the road. On top of that, like Treo said, Does this relationship actually make sense for us? Most of us don’t evaluate these things, but it’s surely about time that we do.

    Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts!

    Antonia

  4. Ravem says:

    I totally agree with both the article and Treo response, we do become blinded and overlook alot just to feel we have something and during that process it becomes a constant battle to remove ourselves from that situation because it turns into a personal default, we feel asthough we will lose something by not trying or letting go!! I have been guilty of this to often..

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