Finding Your Balance By Falling


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A few weeks ago I decided to go out in the snow storm to clean off my wife’s and my car. That is when it happened. I stepped on a large patch of ice. It happened so quickly that I didn’t even have time to think. One thing was for sure, there was no one around to see my potentially catastrophic event. How often do people try to play something off and they end up making their fall ten times worse than it could have been?  I let go of my pride and allowed myself to look foolish by going with my momentum and before I knew it, I had regained my balance. I had to wonder to myself, if there were a crowd of people around, would I have reacted differently? With other people watching, I might have tried to make it look like I wasn’t going to fall and that could have made the situation worse. Sometimes allowing yourself to stumble will help you avoid falling all together.


When it comes to relationships, I notice that there are so many successful coaches that have made a living giving blanket advice. Sometimes the advice is so generic, it makes it seem as if there is a cookie cutter way to win at love. Of course there are some common philosophies and principles to aid in a successful union. However, by not understanding a person’s unique situation, listening to everyone’s opinion can cause people to be afraid of making mistakes. While seeking advice, most people have been told: “don’t do this”, “men want this”, “women can’t do that”. As a result, so many people are afraid to fail or fall during the dating process and even in relationships. However, being afraid to fail is one of the main reasons why people fail. We usually get what we focus on.


Subconsciously during a fall, people are so afraid of how they will look or feel afterwards, they never realize all the energy they are contributing to allow the fall to manifest. By focusing on the fall they are attracting the fall. Instead, I suggest allowing yourself to be open to the fall. There is no reason to fear it. That day in the snow I wasn’t worried at all. In fact, I laughed so hard at myself I almost cried. It was in letting go (not being afraid to fall) that I found my balance.


Ironically, I think back to the story my wife told me the night before we met again after 7 years. She told me she prayed to God to send her a good man because she had done a horrible job on her own. She was completely free and allowed herself to let her momentum (God), carry her to her balance. So if I can offer any assistance (until you either read my upcoming book or take the 60/40 workshop) it would be this: don’t be afraid to fail.  The next guy/woman may not work out, but who cares! Only focus on what you can do and give of yourself completely. When you let go of the fear to fail, you can be open to receive from that one person whom will contribute to the balance in your life.

Comments & Responses

3 Responses so far.

  1. Angel says:

    I was comforted reading this because after going through such a bad break up with my son’s dad and getting into a new relationship, I was so afraid of what would happen in the new relationship. I expected so much and when he didn’t measure up I believed it was because I wasn’t deserving of more. I began to feel God was punishing me for ending the relationship that ultimately has my son living between 2 homes. I’m not sure if it was my fear of failing or him that became the reason I began to pull back emotionally from the relationship, but I do know my negative thoughts and sharing them led to the demise of our relationship. I have to let go of the fear of being hurt and waiting for something bad to happen with men and enjoy the moments I have that will ultimately, as you said, get me to the one who balances my life.

  2. Crystal says:

    This post was the most sincere and honest post. I know I fear failing again at love that I’ve come to the point of letting go (much like your wife did). I will say proudly I’m not afraid of falling any longer I think I’ve prepared myself that if I fail again it’s okay I’ll just start over. I know and believe my King is out there. I’m so lucky to have met a great coach like you. Great post. I don’t have a fear of falling any longer 🙂

  3. Jazz says:

    I can say that I\\\’m guilty of thinking of negative thoughts as well and it led to the end of a beautiful relationship with someone who had exceeded and met all my standards I set for myself when it came to dating. And I prayed to God before I got in that relationship. Because I was so afraid of messing up or still expecting something bad to happen I allowed it to miss out on feeling happy during the beautiful moments in my relationship. At the end of my first week with a coach like you, I have noticed some improvement in my thinking. Thank you for sharing your posts and stories!

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