A few weeks ago I decided to go out in the snow storm to clean off my wife’s and my car. That is when it happened. I stepped on a large patch of ice. It happened so quickly that I didn’t even have time to think. One thing was for sure, there was no one around to see my potentially catastrophic event. How often do people try to play something off and they end up making their fall ten times worse than it could have been? I let go of my pride and allowed myself to look foolish by going with my momentum and before I knew it, I had regained my balance. I had to wonder to myself, if there were a crowd of people around, would I have reacted differently? With other people watching, I might have tried to make it look like I wasn’t going to fall and that could have made the situation worse. Sometimes allowing yourself to stumble will help you avoid falling all together.
When it comes to relationships, I notice that there are so many successful coaches that have made a living giving blanket advice. Sometimes the advice is so generic, it makes it seem as if there is a cookie cutter way to win at love. Of course there are some common philosophies and principles to aid in a successful union. However, by not understanding a person’s unique situation, listening to everyone’s opinion can cause people to be afraid of making mistakes. While seeking advice, most people have been told: “don’t do this”, “men want this”, “women can’t do that”. As a result, so many people are afraid to fail or fall during the dating process and even in relationships. However, being afraid to fail is one of the main reasons why people fail. We usually get what we focus on.
Subconsciously during a fall, people are so afraid of how they will look or feel afterwards, they never realize all the energy they are contributing to allow the fall to manifest. By focusing on the fall they are attracting the fall. Instead, I suggest allowing yourself to be open to the fall. There is no reason to fear it. That day in the snow I wasn’t worried at all. In fact, I laughed so hard at myself I almost cried. It was in letting go (not being afraid to fall) that I found my balance.
Ironically, I think back to the story my wife told me the night before we met again after 7 years. She told me she prayed to God to send her a good man because she had done a horrible job on her own. She was completely free and allowed herself to let her momentum (God), carry her to her balance. So if I can offer any assistance (until you either read my upcoming book or take the 60/40 workshop) it would be this: don’t be afraid to fail. The next guy/woman may not work out, but who cares! Only focus on what you can do and give of yourself completely. When you let go of the fear to fail, you can be open to receive from that one person whom will contribute to the balance in your life.